Mami says the hibiscus agua fresca tastes bitter because it has been here too long
And I wonder if she thinks the same about herself
She says this country does not love her and she won’t stay where she is not wanted
But I secretly think she is talking about me
I wonder what she will say to her mother when she goes back with just the clothes on her back and a memory filled bag
The exact same way she left all those years ago
I wonder if on the plane, while she is leaving
She will think of her arrival
About the days in the desert, about the bodies she saw, about the men who helped her up and dragged her along
About the daughter who has five words stuck in her throat, lodged in so tightly, everything else comes out with a yell
I wonder if she will realize there are a million different ways to say “Te quiero mucho, Mami”
About how every fight, every word, every tear
Has been about the same thing
About what I’m unable to say
And what she is unable to do
“I love you, please stay”
-Annette
